Wild and an Untamed Thing
by tarheelveteran
Summary: The Miami-Dade Crime Lab goes to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show


**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI Miami or any of its intellectual property. Neither do I own The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It would be interesting if I owned both, though. **

**This is a one-shot I forgot about when I completely redid my account. Enjoy. **

* * *

**Wild and an Untamed Thing**

Horatio nodded to his team as he stepped into the break room.

"Everybody here? Good. I called you all here because I have some good news for a change. Remember the theatre break-in last week? Well, the manager was so grateful that we caught the suspect and recovered everything that he gave us a little present." He leaned over and laid a fan of blue tickets on the table.

Delko leaned forward. "What's that for, H?"

Horatio raised his eyebrows. "Well, it seems we're to be his guests to the Rocky Horror Show this Saturday at midnight."

Ryan and Frank looked at each other. "Hey, been a long time since I've been there" Frank said with a grin. "This ought to be good."

A smile crossed Horatio's face. "There's more. He's also giving us each one free costume rental. Unfortunately, there's only one costume for each of us, so it's gonna be first come first served." He immediately picked up the first ticket. "I am taking the Riff Raff costume."

Delko looked at Frank with that boyish grin. "Hey, Tripp can be Franknfurter. You look cute in fishnets, Tripp."

Frank immediately bolted forward and snatched his blue ticket. "Hell, no! I'm Eddie!"

IAB agent Rick Stetler ambled in, his brown eyes suspiciously scanning the break room. "Horatio. There's nobody in the lab. What's going on?"

The Lieutenant raised his eyebrows while he fingered his sunglasses. "That's because I called a special meeting, Rick. After we arrested a suspect in the theatre break-in, the manager gave us free tickets to the Rocky Horror show for this weekend. I thought the team should have them. And each one of us gets a free costume rental."

With disbelief on his face, Rick stood in front of the Lieutenant, hands on hips. "Don't forget that I helped with this case, too" he insisted. "I should get one of those tickets!"

Horatio looked down at his finger. "As memory serves, Rick, we almost lost the case when you got involved."

Rick was unfazed. "Let me have one of those tickets, Horatio."

The Lieutenant shrugged and handed him a blue ticket. "Here you go, Rick."

The IAB agent snatched the blue ticket and smiled at it. His eyes widened and he shook his head. "Oh, no! No way! I'm not gonna be Frankenfurter! You're not gonna get me in women's underwear!" He slapped the ticket back on the table. "Give me another one!" He peered over Horatio's shoulder now. "Why do you get the Riff Raff costume?"

Horatio raised his eyebrows at the outraged IAB agent. "Because I was handed the tickets, Rick."

Frank Tripp stood up and walked over to the bickering police officers now. "Tell you what. Horatio? Stetler? I got an idea"

Both of them looked at the detective.

He rummaged through his waist pocket and held up a quarter. "Heads or tails?"

Horatio narrowed his blue eyes at the IAB agent now. "Loser gets the Franknfurter costume. I think Sergeant Stetler's willing to take that chance. Aren't you, Rick?"

Rick pursed his lips and his eyes darted for a moment. He then nodded. "Yeah. Sure. I'll flip a coin." He grabbed for the quarter in Frank's fingers. "Let me have that!"

Horatio grabbed the quarter before Rick could reach it. "Uh uh, Rick. We're gonna have the next officer in line. Frank, would you do the honors?"

Frank stepped up as Horatio put the quarter in his palm. He then held it in his fingers. "Ready?"

Both officers nodded with determined eyes.

Frank flicked the quarter up into the air, caught it, and flipped it onto his elbow. "Call it, Stetler!"

"Heads!" Rick nearly shouted.

* * *

Delko laughed as he straightened his bowtie and his hornrimmed glasses. "Hey, Tripp! I mean, Eddie! Never seen you in leather!"

Frank Tripp clomped in as he stroked his black sideburns. His chains rattled. "Hey, I think I look pretty damned good! Better than you, Underwear Boy!"

Delko smiled down at Calleigh. "Hey, we get to run around in our underwear together. Right, Janet?" he said with that boyish grin.

"Don't get any ideas, _Brad_" she shot back.

Alexx pranced in the room, holding out her sequined tophat. "Ta-daaaah! Well? How do I look?"

Frank smiled. "Hey, it's Columbia!" he laughed. "I'm supposed to give you a ride on my motorcycle!" He then looked around. "Where's everybody else?" He then pointed out the door. "Check it out! Magenta's coming down the hallway now!"

Natalia pranced in, flaring out her maid dress as she held her duster. "Well? What do you think?"

Delko smiled. "Glad you could make it, Magenta!"

Natalia turned and put her hands on her hips. "Aw, come on, Ryan. You don't look so bad" she insisted.

Ryan skulked in wearing his lab coat and a blonde wig. "Do I have to do this?" he muttered.

"You know you're gonna have to take that off eventually, Wolfe" Delko laughed. "Aw, come on. You look cute in gold panties."

Ryan narrowed his eyes at the bespectacled CSI. "Yeah? How do you know?"

Frank Tripp shrugged. "Well, we're just waiting on Horatio and Stetler now. Anybody seen 'em?"

All eyes pointed down the hallway as they could hear shouting and clomping.

"Here they come" Alexx said.

Horatio stepped in. "Well, how's this?" he asked, looking down at himself.

Frank Tripp smiled. "You make a good Riff Raff, Horatio."

"Thanks, Frank." Horatio straightened his jacket and flipped his long white hair back over his shoulder as he stared down the hallway. "Come on, Rick! Everybody's here but you!"

Down the hallway everyone could hear clomping followed by wolf whistles and a torrent of profanities. Rick Stetler stepped in, eyes blazing.

Frank and Delko turned their heads, suppressing snickers when Rick settler clomped in wearing a curly wig, a long cape, fishnet stockings, liquid paper white face, and shiny platform sandals. His ankles wobbled, and leg hair spiked out of his fishnet stockings.

Alexx's eyes darted, and she opened her mouth for a moment. "Oh, Sweetie, you look, uh…."

"Thanks, Alexx" he said deliberately as he reached under his cape to adjust his lace-up bustier. He suddenly doubled over and yelped in pain. "Ow!"

"What is it, Rick?" Horatio asked, suppressing a smile.

The IAB agent turned around. "Caught my chest hair in this thing!" he nearly shouted. "I'm not going out looking like this!"

Alexx walked over to him now. "Oh, here, Rick. Let me help you" she said in her most motherly voice as she took off her sequined tophat. Alexx then stood in front of Rick and fumbled with the black bustier. She then looked at up at him, not to be argued with. "And you can't hide now. Not after I went through all that trouble to paint that tattoo on your arm!"

Frank burst out in laughter. "You're kidding me! Stetler's got the tat?" He inched closer to look. "I gotta check this out!" He craned his neck for a closer look. "Good job, Alexx."

Rick stood sullenly and pursed his lips. He felt an investigation coming on for sure now.

Horatio stood with hands on hips behind the angry IAB agent. "Maybe you should've shaved, Rick."

Alexx raised her eyebrows. "We tried that, didn't we, Sweetie? But you wore out two of my lady shavers."

Rick huffed as he rubbed his sore chest and closed his cape now. "Can we just get this overwith?" he snarled.

"What, before you get something else caught?" Delko said with that boyish grin.

Horatio then donned his sunglasses. "Okay, everybody. Let's go."


End file.
